Ok, after a very strange week I am starting to claim down a bit, I guess wet food as a bribe for the kind of treatment I've been handed this last week is what keeps me sort of sane and sort of loving my master(or so I tell him), I guess it beats living on the streets. Let's start what probably caused allot of my misgivings and erratic behaviour this week, and the DOLT, has finally figured out this is probably some of the cause. LITTER BOX CHANGE. WE CAT'S DO NOT LIKE CHANGE and especially where we use the shitter. He thought, and probably rightfully so(at least to his human way of thinking) that I needed a larger litter box, so he got one, and guess what...to top it off an brand new litter(SCENTED>>>>he forgot I HATE SCENTED Litter) but you have to use what you have to use. I'll give him credit he tried...he kept the old box for a week with the old litter to try and wean me to the new one. So I basically went back and forth between the two, preferring, of course the old cramped box(again CAT'S don't like CHANGE and cat's DON'T think like humans...I could care less if the old box was small IT WORKED FOR ME. So guess what, Len gets tired of me scrapping the litter out of the old box(I'll admit I am messy there and partially it's intentional...hehe)...so he finally tosses the old box out. That's one thing that PISSED me off. Then the BIG thing that freaked me out. Generally I like bags of all sorts, mostly paper but I can get(well let's say used to) like playing with plastic bags, so when we were playing Len had his hand in the plastic bag, I stalked and pounced and unfortunately my head got caught in the handle(PETA TYPES DON"T WORRY I WASN"T HURT).....I trashed like a mad man...trashed all over the apartment until I could get the dam thing off my head and of course in my state of panic Len tyred to help but I was so fast he couldn't catch me. I knocked the phone of the hock. Finally after the bag was off me I crawled up into the window seal and stayed there for 45 minutes glaring out once and a while at Len with a terrified look in my eye's. He tried to consul me saying he was sorry, even though he didn't really have any fault in this, but I liked his attempt at petty pity on me, makes me fell in total control...of course you all know I am anyway. :) When he tried to persuade me to come out I glared at him. When he pet my tail(btw...people...I really don't like that) I HISSED at him, a MEAN HISS. He kept on consoling and saying he was sorry. Well after awhile I pretended to make up with him, rubbed him and all that shit. Then awhile later I got my revenge and proceeded to take a dump on the couch, something I've never done, at least to his knowledge. REVENGE is soooo sweet. I also vomited on the carpet a couple of time with the pretense that I was ill, yet again REVENGE is sooo sweet. Of course people don't seem to learn their lessons. Sunday he comes back after leaving me ALONE(thank God) half the day. He vacuums the carpet. Of course you'll know CAT'S DO NOT like the vacuum. I race to the bedroom window seal and crouch. Then after I come back down he proceeds to brush me(something I don't mind too much but after all these tragic events I could have done with out. I pretend to like it(he also used wet food to "console" me with all this stress. Then he wipe me down with a pet wipe, I don't really like em but I relented. Next another incident...I know it wasn't intentional but it did make me wonder if I have a sadistic owner or something. I went to lay down in the bathroom, one of my favorite hang outs(it's the PIPES people, I like hearing all the bugs crawling in the PIPES) so much I'll risk the toilet flushing or sink flowing. Anyway Len forgot he had the vacuum next to the bathroom door, and it has a switch problem, sometimes if it's plugged in it will start even if nobody starts it. It's only happened a couple of times but this time I just happened to be on the other side of the door. Of course when that happened it freaked the hell out of me. I darted behind the dvd player(another one of my hideouts when I am freaked, basically because it's a mess over there and hard for humans to get to me. I stayed there for about ten minutes with this look of shock and terror on my face. Of course Len tried to make amends by giving me some more wet food. I will say he has learned a good lesson...I can only handle small portions of the wet stuff at a time, otherwise it's barf city for me. I actually prefer dry food believe it or not. After my mother refused to nurse me the family where Len adopted me from started me on dry food right away, probably a good thing. Although I sometimes wonder if my Mother cutting me off so early has something to do with my alleged attitude problems, LOL. Oh btw...if all of this wasn't enough Len decided to put my name tag collar back on. I am not to trilled with collars, since that's something he didn't start me young with(remember....change is not a good one. So I am now seriously considering my next move at revenge on Len, even though in all sincerity I don't think he actually meant any harm and is only looking out for my best interests. So I think I will ask the readers what would be my best move...more vomit, diarrhea(start spraying...something I've not done...yet)....or wait until he is in a deep, deep sleep and lay down on his face and suffocate him. The only problem with the last option is after Len is dead the any number of his friends that Len has asked to take me in might be just as bad. Maybe I'll just start smoking catnip again. :)
SLA
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