He's going to drive me to the loony bin....

Ok, after a very strange week I am starting to claim down a bit, I guess wet food as a bribe for the kind of treatment I've been handed this last week is what keeps me sort of sane and sort of loving my master(or so I tell him), I guess it beats living on the streets. Let's start what probably caused allot of my misgivings and erratic behaviour this week, and the DOLT, has finally figured out this is probably some of the cause. LITTER BOX CHANGE. WE CAT'S DO NOT LIKE CHANGE and especially where we use the shitter. He thought, and probably rightfully so(at least to his human way of thinking) that I needed a larger litter box, so he got one, and guess what...to top it off an brand new litter(SCENTED>>>>he forgot I HATE SCENTED Litter) but you have to use what you have to use. I'll give him credit he tried...he kept the old box for a week with the old litter to try and wean me to the new one. So I basically went back and forth between the two, preferring, of course the old cramped box(again CAT'S don't like CHANGE and cat's DON'T think like humans...I could care less if the old box was small IT WORKED FOR ME. So guess what, Len gets tired of me scrapping the litter out of the old box(I'll admit I am messy there and partially it's intentional...hehe)...so he finally tosses the old box out. That's one thing that PISSED me off. Then the BIG thing that freaked me out. Generally I like bags of all sorts, mostly paper but I can get(well let's say used to) like playing with plastic bags, so when we were playing Len had his hand in the plastic bag, I stalked and pounced and unfortunately my head got caught in the handle(PETA TYPES DON"T WORRY I WASN"T HURT).....I trashed like a mad man...trashed all over the apartment until I could get the dam thing off my head and of course in my state of panic Len tyred to help but I was so fast he couldn't catch me. I knocked the phone of the hock. Finally after the bag was off me I crawled up into the window seal and stayed there for 45 minutes glaring out once and a while at Len with a terrified look in my eye's. He tried to consul me saying he was sorry, even though he didn't really have any fault in this, but I liked his attempt at petty pity on me, makes me fell in total control...of course you all know I am anyway. :) When he tried to persuade me to come out I glared at him. When he pet my tail(btw...people...I really don't like that) I HISSED at him, a MEAN HISS. He kept on consoling and saying he was sorry. Well after awhile I pretended to make up with him, rubbed him and all that shit. Then awhile later I got my revenge and proceeded to take a dump on the couch, something I've never done, at least to his knowledge. REVENGE is soooo sweet. I also vomited on the carpet a couple of time with the pretense that I was ill, yet again REVENGE is sooo sweet. Of course people don't seem to learn their lessons. Sunday he comes back after leaving me ALONE(thank God) half the day. He vacuums the carpet. Of course you'll know CAT'S DO NOT like the vacuum. I race to the bedroom window seal and crouch. Then after I come back down he proceeds to brush me(something I don't mind too much but after all these tragic events I could have done with out. I pretend to like it(he also used wet food to "console" me with all this stress. Then he wipe me down with a pet wipe, I don't really like em but I relented. Next another incident...I know it wasn't intentional but it did make me wonder if I have a sadistic owner or something. I went to lay down in the bathroom, one of my favorite hang outs(it's the PIPES people, I like hearing all the bugs crawling in the PIPES) so much I'll risk the toilet flushing or sink flowing. Anyway Len forgot he had the vacuum next to the bathroom door, and it has a switch problem, sometimes if it's plugged in it will start even if nobody starts it. It's only happened a couple of times but this time I just happened to be on the other side of the door. Of course when that happened it freaked the hell out of me. I darted behind the dvd player(another one of my hideouts when I am freaked, basically because it's a mess over there and hard for humans to get to me. I stayed there for about ten minutes with this look of shock and terror on my face. Of course Len tried to make amends by giving me some more wet food. I will say he has learned a good lesson...I can only handle small portions of the wet stuff at a time, otherwise it's barf city for me. I actually prefer dry food believe it or not. After my mother refused to nurse me the family where Len adopted me from started me on dry food right away, probably a good thing. Although I sometimes wonder if my Mother cutting me off so early has something to do with my alleged attitude problems, LOL. Oh btw...if all of this wasn't enough Len decided to put my name tag collar back on. I am not to trilled with collars, since that's something he didn't start me young with(remember....change is not a good one. So I am now seriously considering my next move at revenge on Len, even though in all sincerity I don't think he actually meant any harm and is only looking out for my best interests. So I think I will ask the readers what would be my best move...more vomit, diarrhea(start spraying...something I've not done...yet)....or wait until he is in a deep, deep sleep and lay down on his face and suffocate him. The only problem with the last option is after Len is dead the any number of his friends that Len has asked to take me in might be just as bad. Maybe I'll just start smoking catnip again. :)

SLA

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just thought I'd post a qweek....piiick of ME. This isn't the best pic of me but it show's my best side(of course all of me is my best side). Just for reference since this pick doesn't quite do me justice, no pic can, I am 10.6 lbs and very healthy...this picture makes me look a bit fat but according to my vet I am in excellent shape and ideal weight for a cat of my age. Wouldn't you all like to look so good. :) We hope for more pics to come soon. Also I wanted to say a warm welcome to me new baby sister "Heidi"...she is a "Chiweenie" part Dachshund part Chihuahua...yeah she is a puppy but she is still my sister and I love her very much and can't wait to meet her(as you all know be my know this is about as sappy as I am going to geeet). SLA

humans start there stupid politcal gala's....

Today the democraps starterd there political party they call a "convention". The next few day's those that can stomach eet, will watch a bunch of bozo's pat each other on the back and tell America why there party is better than the other, we get the republiKKKans doing the same thing next week. Of course as we all know I pulled out of the Presidential race early on, even though I had very strong local support. I wasn't willing to pander to special interest groups including animal rights groups. I hold all the cards already so I really don't need special protection from these groups, it's not like they are feeding my fat ass anyway. So one might ask whom I am I going to vote for...easy...my fellow feline and girlfriend(even though I have yet to meet her personally), Maranatha. I recently saw some pictures of her and unlike what some people though, I wasn't jealous at all. She really struts her stuff, and would be a wonderful President. Here is a pic of her's.....I must warn you...she's NUDE in this pic! :) SLA

Why must humans constantly be on the run...

Take note my human friends, and enemies, you could take a tip or two from a cat. Take a break from your busy lives now and then and just relax. You people are constantly on the go. What gives? I can sleep up to 16 hours on a bad day...18 or more on a good one. Now of course that's not straight sleep, I take time in between to eat, do other necessities, bird watch, entertain my "master", and of course just stare at whatever happens to catch my fancy. I think most humans fear just being still sometimes because they are afraid of thinking. While granted there isn't much for us cat's to have to think about...we do think(mostly the plotting of the takeover of civilization..just kidding...but we do think. Seems like humans don't like to do that. Maybe it's because they fear the unknown of the future, not sure where they are headed...I KNOW where I am headed...I know eet, I know I know eet. Kitty heaven you know....the old big cat nip in the sky..the big cat treat carousel. I wonder if the prospect of humans going where I am not going worries them???(to hot for me) Could be. Well just something to ponder.....if you think you can stand the silence. :)

SLA

A HISSSS to remeber....

I don't know if I mentioned eet or not but a couple of weeks ago uncle Dave came over to visit me and well I was sort of having....issues, to put it politely. Len was there of course and they were trying to get me to come out from under the TV stand, wondering like humans always seem to do, why I was being so alloff. Well Dave stroked my tail, something I normally enjoy as most normal cat's do, but today like I said I was having "issues". I gave him the two biggest and loudest HISSES he and Len had ever heard....full mouth open wide hisses. Len didn't have the "pleasure" of seeing my mouth open in disgusts, or disgruntlement, I am not sure which...LOL. Anyway as to the issue.....(WARNING THOSE WITH DELICATE SYSTEMS MIGHT NOT WANT TO READ ANY FURTURE)...apparently I had been backed up, so to speak, that day, and I guess it didn't even fell good to be touched anywhere much less on my "tail of two kitties". Thus the tremendous HISSSS. I normally aint a hisser, unless people try to hold me like a baby(DON..gett ett...I don't like that) or wash me, although I am getting ok with the whips somewhat, or clip my nails. Well it apparently was something to behold because they haven't stoped talking about it since then. And of course to the aftermath....ummm...I was able to produce quite a big...shall we say TURD in my litter box. I was accused of substituting a dogs turd for mine. Well yes we cats normally don't produce something so disgusting but if you've been backed up for a day or so maybe you'd do it to. After that I was fine and placated them with my loving and all that crap....LOL. So the next time a cat HISSES at you for petting them at the wrong time or the wrong place just consider..there might be a BIG reason for it, nothing personal.....or at least we can use that as an excuse for our normal destine for you. :)...just kidding. :)

Cat's have feelings too....

This past week was a strange week for me. This was the first week, as a so called "adult" cat, that I've experienced what they call here the "monsoon"...it has lot's of rain and thunder, well you know us cat's aren't very happy about loud noises. The neat light show that accompanies it isn't the problem it's the wind and thunder, sort of hurts our ears, maybe the change in pressure hurts our heads also...humans seem to complain about that. We also don't like fireworks. They are loud, why Americans have to fire off these loud and dangerous things to display there freedom is beyond me. The more intelligent feline species certainly wouldn't get into such things. Like humans we also have emotions, sometimes we just don't like to be bothered or we feed off of our humans energies, whether they be good, bad or indifferent. So the next time you see a cat that just doesn't want to be loved, cuddled or whatever, give em a break...it's nothing person, they might just not be felling all that hot, you ever fell that way?

SLA

I am still purring...

Well I don't really have anything to say other than, not only was June 14th Len's parents 50th anniversary but my ONE year anniversary of coming home to take over his life....I mean live in harmony with him. It's been an interesting year. I worry that Len is starting to figure me out....so I am probably going to have to come up with new tricks to keep him off balance. I think after a whole year that he has finally figured out that I am ALL CAT....the classic CAT that cat haters LOVE to HATE....and I LOVE EET!....In a strange way I think Len LOVES that part of my personality also, and in fact his friends have grown to love eet to. Oh.....don't get me wrong I still try to pretend I love my human pet's, it keeps the food coming you know....:)....but in all honesty like I've said in previous posts I won't be completely fulfilled until I conquer the entire world. You know us cats....we have nine lives to do eet in. (picture shown is one of my brethren, taken from the web....BITE!!! :)

SLA

For now it's Purina One Healthy chicken adult formula...

Looks like for now Purina One's Healthy Chicken Adult formula has won out the next phase in my food eating regime. The price is reasonable and the contents are pretty good, not much additives and nasty stuff...AND NO "ANIMAL DIGEST". The "spa" stuff would be nice but you also have to consider price and that I already do like the current purina kitten stuff I am on. Right now I am transitioning myself into the new food. My owner just bought me some larger bowls, thinking it will make me eat more(I haven't been eating as much lately). What he needs to understand is that's probably not going to do it. Although it's probably time for bigger bowls, I am a big cat for my age...if I am not hungry or I am not in the mood I ain't eating. But I am in good shape and weight so no worries. I go to the vet in July for my yearly check up and shots...oh and I've been told if I don't let Len do the "clippy, clippy", he is going to have the vet do it(trim my nails)...LOL...just wait and see is all I can say. He also bought a couple of other things at Petsmart(I wish I owned stock in that place), because he gets me stuff once and a while even knowing I don't really want it and won't really do anything with them. These "catnip balls" he thought they would be great....hey dude I am not a kitten anymore. About the best thing now for me is the laser light. And a new scratchy thing that you hang on the door...he thinks it will keep my nails in good shape...LOL, I'll stick with my other scratching post that I am used to and like. If he wanted me got keep my nails in shape he should have gotten my this style along time ago instead of the crappy carpety one that I am already used to, but do like. Remember I AM A CAT...NOT A DOG!

I am doing research on my new food...

Well I'll be switching to an adult cat food soon, now that I am a year old. I don't think there will be harm in finishing off my Purina healthy kitten formula. It's been the mainstay of my diet. I've learned quite a bit lately about cat foods....one of the biggest thing is "by-products" are not great but they also are not "off-limits"...they give the ummp and "palatable" we gato's like, however if there is a food out there that is affordable with out eet that would be preferred. One thing you need to avoid is any kind of food that has "animal digest" in it. I am not a fan of "menudo", nor is Len my owner, and if you know what the Mexican dish menudo has in eet than you will know what I am talking about with "animal digest". Another thing that I am surprised seeing in the biggest adult food especially Purina(and one my owner is considering is...corn based products. Corn is not easy for us Gato's to digest. Fortunately the two Purina brands that have some of it only have small part of it and the rest of the ingredients are very good..including real chicken. But right now that brand is probably second or third on the list. Science diet is out of the running...surprisingly it has lot's of soy stuff and corn meal stuff also, scine it's pretty pricey I don't understand why people would buy this stuff. Iams naturals seems ok. It seems to have good stuff and real chicken, it's in the running. Blue spa adult chicken and brown rice formula is in the running it has great stuff including real chicken and brow rice(which is actually good for us cats). "Advantage" brand sold only at Petsmart has surprising good stuff and is a bit less expensive than the rest. That is in the running right now. Probably the Purina Heathfull life cat chow or a Purina one adult cat food will win out if the price is comparable, at least for the mean time, although Blue spa and Advantage might take over if the price is comparable, especially since they have the best ingredients and great reviews...plus supposedly you don't need as much. The Purina stuff, while has some corn...doesn't have low quality stuff you even find in more expensive brands(other then the above mentioned..Advantage and Blue). Since I should be getting a free sample of Purina health I might be on that for awhile...and it seems to be ok...although my owner doesn't like the color additives and some of the other additive, but still it's much, much better than ANY store brand. I would suggest that NOBODY ever touch Krogers store brand or walmarts "special kitty"....you might as well eat dirt...LOL. I'd like to know what other cat's out there are eating(I am not talking about bugs or mice here)just the stuff your humans serve up on the old silver platter...or what they should be. btw.....here is a tip for treats....I love "Temptations" chicken one...not the greatest ingredients but it's not meant as the main source of your diet and it doesn't have "digest" in it...which...POUNCE...products DO have...avoid anything with "animal digest" in it...I am sure you wouldn't want to eat my crap....so why should I eat others crap. Frankly if it were up to me I'd eat a whole tuna fish or live mouse every day...but I don't see that happening...and surprisingly Tuna isn't supposed to be a cat's main source of food...that's not right.....until next time...meow...

Happy Birthday to ME!

Today I am ONE year old. WOW...what an exciting first year it has been. Now I can sit back and enjoy all the things I've learned over the last year, take advantage of them...and live in perpetual teenage hood...or so the catphysoligists say is what now happens, with the occasional regression into kitten hood. Meowww. :). So what did I do for my big day? Well like my owner we aren't big on celebrations...so we both slept in...hmmm....actually we've slept in pretty much everyday this week, so I am not so sure what's different. He's given me a few more treats today, although I am trying to watch my weight(grow) so I barley was able to gulp them all down. So my question to the other cats out there..what is your favorite thing to do and your favorite treat? Mine has got to be sleeping and favorite treat is tuna flakes...btw Len they are running low you better order more! :)

I have to think of a good April fools joke to play on Len...

It's been awhile since I've posted. Not all that much going on. Summer is coming up and for cat's at least that's our favorite time of year. People think we like the cold...not true..we tend to like it warm. Of course don't go to far and fry us with heat or anything. So anyway on to the subject at hand...any ideas on what sort of April fools joke I should play on my "master". I know he is happy that there is know "major" holiday in April...however what he doesn't realize is MY Birthday IS a major holiday and just happens to be on April 30th. I am already accepting food birthday presents for anyone that wishes to send me some. Chicken is my favorite, but I am not picky I"ll eat just about anything. :)

I appreciate the food gesture my master...

The other day my master brought home some food from "long John silvers"...of course I could smell it. This is the second time he has done this. He has a pretty hard and fast rule that he doesn't allow me to eat any of his food, vary rarely will he bend on this. Finally this time he gave me a small sliver of fish and shrimp from the long johns place....man I thought I had died and gone to kitty heaven. I inhaled it faster than I do catnip(that stuff also rocks!). I guess he has his reasons to not let me have table scraps most of the time...I suppose it's for the best...I might get bigger than I already am...but for goosh sakes if you are going to be so cruel and bring home fish could you at least offer a poor little kitty more than just a little scrap. Hmmmm I have an idea maybe I'll ask him if he can buy me a pet gold fish. I promise I'll take really good care of him(in my mouth) and never harm him. I'll just watch over him in the bowl....really...I mean it. :)

SLA

we need to really take a look at ourselves.....

My friend len and myself often joke about each other on this blog, but we both have this unconditional love for each other. We both don't understand quite why but it just is. He speaks to me in this "showlow speak" that only me and I, and some of his friends understand. But we understand each other. I think animals have a special place in God's plan. I wish humans would take notice of this more often, not like the animal rights people like to portray but just a simple of of both of our simplicity. I wonder if humans would take this simplicity in God's plan that they would understand and love each other more, instead of having to be so materialistic. It's hard to put into words....especially for a cat. But I really think if we just simply trusted in God's plan, more often I think all of our worries would be so meaningless. Meow over this thought.

SLA

I hate people...

just so you know for the most part I hate people. for the most part they are very stupid, unlike most of us cat's .....and even some...hack hack..hairball coming up....even some (God forgive me) dogs. People just go for all these trendy things. They even by us animals all these stupid things we could care less about. I'd rather pounch on a dam milk jug ring than a stupid fake mouse.....you know I know it's fake...it it wasn't I'd be tearing the dam thing to sherd's and having it as a snack. And know I don't leave trophies for my "master" if I kill something to eat I eat it, I am not going to leave a dead carouse for someone to admire, that's for the less intelligent cat's(or so called cat's) out there. So you idiots out there need to learn a lesson......I am pretending to be "domesticated" but any chance I get to kill I am going to do it. Again...you'd better watch you back. hehehehehe.

I Loooove this pic........

This ONE rules!!!!!!!!

SLA

Get real dude....

hmmmm....my so called "master" wanted to rough house with me today after a bad day at work supposedly. You see...he kind of thinks I have sypmothy about his life so when he comes home I try to do the best to placate him and do what he wants. What he doesn't know is all of us intelligent cats are only plotting for a future take over. He KNOW's eeet....but he just doesn't want to admit eet. So for now I'll play along. But I would be looking over my shoulder if I were you. hehehehhehheh.

SLA

what a bunch of dog dodo....

Did you watch the "puppie bowl"....on AP...what a load of crap. They only give us kitties a halftime show with a bunch of stupid kitties that I wouldn't be caught in the same room with. I even saw a dumb dog take a leak on the field...have some self respect. At least I have some self control and can use a litter box. As far as the football superbowl...who gives a crap...they won't let me on the field..something about undoing shoelaces...geez what's the big deal?

SLA

Meowwww....

Hola...I'd like to introduce you to myself, for those that don't know me, my name is Showlow(NO HYPHENS) and I am a mixed breed cat(aka I don't know who my dad was...yep I am a BASTARD). Anyway in this blog I'll take you into the mind of a cat(well I am still technically a kitty for anther few months, and my(our) goal of eventually taking over the human race...just kidding(sort of). Actually I'll be posting my weekly adventures, or whenever I fell like it. I'll also post some thoughs on various issues of the world that my owner thinks are important to cover...with a cat's slant on it. Plus sports stuff like Aggie(NMSU) sport. Could be more posts could be less. I do have to tell you that the human person that "owns" me is interpreting and typing the words for me as I am a little bit dysfunctional in that area...as you can tell this bird brain owner of mine isn't much better however but we have to do what we have to do. So I hope you enjoy the blog. Fell free to post responses...well add them to the rest of the drivel.

SLA